I went to the opening...re-opening...re-design?...of the Lord & Taylor's on 5th Ave a couple months ago after work. Big tall chicks, some say models, in flower garb headpieces were waddling around on a red carpet outside, which promised an entertaining evening. I traversed the 5 billion floors with my co-workers taking in each show; cutesie kidz band on the third floor? nopez, champagne courtesy of Ralph Lauren on the fourth floor? I'll doooooooo it. I snapped a picture of Andrew WK being a super subdued DJ with my phone and then made my way to the top floor. Ready to scoot we decided to take the elevator down and guess who we shared our ride with? Why twas you Countess LuAnn and yonder music producer with sunglasses that never come offeth. All I wanted to do was hum "money can't buy you class..but it CAN buy thousands of people champagne (holla at ma boi Ralph). I'm almost as tall as you...also your hair looked pretty ok.
If you see this, will you please contact lesbianswholooklikejustinbieber.tumblr.com and tell her to put my picture up?
And because I love Housewives' songz:
