You Ruin Clothes

Mistake #1- You came in the store talkin on the phone like this is Forever fuckin 21
Mistake #2- You said you were going to set your stuff down next to me while you shopped. Your "stuff" was two huge ass bags, and also, I don't need a play-by-play. 
Mistake #3- You couldn't get the dress off that you were trying on and needed help= boobs galore
Mistake #4- You put the dress back and asked if we had another size 6. I said, "like you need two of them?" You said you didn't, so I asked if something was wrong with that one (the one you couldn't get off five seconds earlier). 
You: "I got makeup on it." 
Me: "You want another one instead of the one you got makeup on?" 
You: "Yes." 
Me: ".........................................................................................."
Me after I shit my pants in disbelief: "Well you kinda got makeup on it, there's not much I can do to help you there."
Mistake #5- You bought something else in a size small and left. 


If you see this, get a push-up bra.