To the Lady Who Lost Her Sweater

You called me at work the other day after you had come and gone. You asked if I had seen your brown sweater, and after I made a quick sweep of the store and told you that we did not in fact have your sweater, you tried to convince me that I had your sweater. I'm not a fuckin sweater hoarder lady. If I say I don't have your sweater, I don't have it. You told me that you had been in the store only two hours before like that somehow magically meant I had your sweater. You then hung up (finally) and called back 5 minutes later only to tell me that our store's other location doesn't have your sweater either. Uh, cool? I still don't have your sweater. Oh, OH, THAT SWEATER?? OH! Now that you call back and tell me ONCE AGAIN that you lost your sweater, I all of the sudden have it. If you see this, stop being a jackass.